EGYPTO

Last night I did a funny thing, it is been a real while eversince I chatted or used the messenger services by either yahoo, or MSN, needless to say, am just not into these things anymore. But here’s what I did I added something like 200 names into my list, I modified the last in which all of them would be added in the same time you add something something number of contacts, a message will be sent to notify them or something,.and the fun began , these young Egyptian kids started asking in broken English who are you, and kept answering with stupid rhetoric all the time just to keep them guessing , but I did noticed a coming back trend, they do curse allot, I thought in this day and age the language would’ve been turned down, “civilized”…no

It seems that communication technology, in chatting and video whatever. Did in fact advance fast and, still improving. But what about he persons behind the chatting screens, on the keyboards, what type of people are we really type communicating with?.when in Miami one time, seeing all types of personalities, in the Epcot Center, sometime in 96, I think around October or so, in the center they set computer booths, with online chatting ,and gaming type of stuff, you just star playing or type and the computer start responding and so forth. the person on the other side of the seemed to be cursing way many times, I didn’t know which to do first “chat” first or answer claims on my Ass?.

Its ten years after, and the insulting still growing, I mean is that really why we chat for?, just to see how much people we can get to degrade, voice chatting on yahoo is even worse webcam super worse, who are these people?. I still love them in Egypt they posses, extra in everything we had as civilized people, but no more.

Fairuz

Have you listened to any music singed in Arabic? or a melody, an Arabic melody ?. well here is the thing with Arabic music, these is lots of Arabic singers , believe it, maybe because a large population speaks the langue, from all the sniggers out there including the ones I personally despise the most , those who like to use synthesizer ..allot of synthesizer to the pint I just started laughing hysterically because the sound become a form of abnormal voices, think goblins, or male cats screaming out side a window,

Well here is the good thing, Arabic music don’t have to have synthesizer, and the answer is Fairuz sometimes pronounced or written differently but if you key it somewhere you might get the right name, listen to Fairuz, probably the best out of all Arabic sings Lebanese singers and performers, I came to love her music the most here, she singes about life in Libnan which I cant relate too, she sings about life afar from home, she singes about love, cool thing songs are sang in Classic Arabic , with a very good

Pronunciation, remember Arabic is all about how to manipulate voice chords to achieve optimum sense. Ok so why um Kalthum, well here is the thing Um Kalthum probably has the best lyrists around her at the time, the best composers if the history of the Arabic music, but perhaps the worst record producers of all time. Um Kalthum’s Arabic, Classical Arabic that is good, but not best, here my take on this and why “good
Pronunciation,” matters, you see when you listen to a song, say in English for example,

And keep listing , and then a letter is gone out of shape it helps maybe the purpose of the song, you hear that all the time in Rock music, they exaggerate pretty much everything, but people like it, but not in Classical music everything has to go right, that’s why its called ‘classic’. In Um Kalthum its all goes fine until a heavy letter is written and she say it and then the feeling for the song just goes away , well not in Fairuzs case.

The settler mentality

I believe they had it from the beginning, the looks, the talks, the thinking, the sing, its not amazing that mentality still exist. Floats around from the north-east to east-west to the south and stays south, in this matter. Still floats still there, still theirs, denying it all the time they do, “it’s the differences”, “it’s the Economical pressure”, “we have to put ut ourselves in their shoes”, no we don’t have to put anything anywhere, we just have to admit that you, from the beginning just did not like the fact of anything that has to do with anyone whom just happens to be nothing you are.

When the slave ship landed and the slaves were shipped from the ship, to the caret, chained still, feet, arms, hands, head, whatever chainable; supposedly the hitting and hating and African salve meant, that. here goes, that because the African Salve came into the land looking and smelling they he/she; normally he, was considered a beast, so what ?, beast smell and look African?, or beast comes on a ship and then on caret and then on to a Tobacco field?, I mean it makes no sense, at all.

In the class white student, there one student in particular, he acts as he knows at all, acting the usual, head shaking from left to right every time the word on the settlers, finding the hatred toward African slaves in the bible, and jumps out again, it because of Economic, the king the queen the field, the this, the that, no its not.

If that was to be true, if the smell and the looks of an African salve, coming here frightened them to the point, so they beastify him. Then why is it that when they them selves came out of a ship beastifyed the natives as well??
its not the pigment, maybe it was at one point or two, but not all the time, its always been in the head, in the mentality, the settlers mentality

WWWH

I can’t seem to “get it” by now. Family friends around the world friends, one day to days friends long time short time friends and then the people.Asking on my well being, and the question of when you will be here ?, where we are at where you should be, with us among us.I can answer these claims, but I can not fulfill with all requests, I think I knew better.

Ever since that moment, and the fear mixed with their own sense of fulfillment, when they as I , used be where they were, I felt the same way too, I needed someone far away from all these surroundings to empty, my emptiness on them, him, no always her.We used and seemingly still are looking, we do have all the freedom the freedom of time that is, we do have the freedom the freedom of mind…mind space, living the way we did, we do.I can’t not yet, not now anyway just come back. Although it is bad, here and, there where you at, I cant not now, I have to prove it to my self first then the rest of the friends and “the people”.

stranger still among the rest

Again I am faced with these oddly situations, in which people around have to show some of their great skills of been afraid looking toward your image.I wondered again eversince something like that happens whether they are just following the instructions or just been themselves. The reason I had to mention this for the reason that sometimes I grew tired of all this kind of behavior, when in fact the majority of the people who are like me have already been departed from here. I wonder how long it will take for me to endure such things for such long period.

writing day

I am trying to write a written letter for my father, I wonder who else like have to do the same thing. By saying like I mean, an international student away from home, away in long time period, under some special circumstances. I wonder if other international student as in my case, have to explain more and promise less, I wonder if the rest of them fall under the same pressure, to produce more then they can actually handle, I wonder if
They lie, try to deceive, thing is not necessary everyone in the world get to come here, perhaps in our case, and our particular income status, we can afford to come here, but we cant afford to stay, and be the “same like us”, when we arrive, we try to either join the minority foreign, get along with our own student friend , some time we don’t get along at all, but pretend to get along, because we have no one else to hang around with,
I wonder if other saudi student do write letters, to their families, what do they say, what will the say, about, there is and still is all kind of stuff to talk about, where to start, where to end it. ? This country is not, as it was when parents were here, in mid 70’s early 80’s although it might look like it, things not necessary changed, and if it did, definitely for the worse. I actually do wonder is they do write letters to their families in the first place.

another they

They and only they have it
Their so sweet and full of talking ideas, they always want to explore and try new stuff, their willing to change partners and go wild, they have issues and want someone to listen, they are sweet, come in all kinds, forms,and colors, they have feelings and emotions that need to be kept fresh and kept in a warm place.
commercialised,and their sweetness is been used in that order, to be with them is to buy something for them, to want them is to put your mind into what they say and tell, always want their company , we fight for them, hate to leave them , yet we seem we cant find the best among them.even then we want to leave them and be with another of their kind.

how to know ?

I remember sitting out side the car, in Chicago I looked at the stars and then at the skyscrapers, it looked something like this, moments like that means nothing to no one , there is nothing wrong we observing its nothing to no one and something to someone , it least it could be kept from some I remebre sitting out side the car, in Chicago I looked at the satrs and then at the sky scoareors, it looked something like this , someitmes i do really wish it stoped right there. I remebre sitting out side the car, in Chicago I looked at the satrs and then at the sky scoareors, it looked something like this , someitmes i do really wish it stoped right there.

Head

They sat on the sand by the beach
they sat alone afar from the rest
they sat silence with no clue,
if the and is moving or no,
I saw’em growing up drifting through time and space I

7asheesha

Read not weed.
comes in green and dark green I think it comes in all sort of colors,
could make you mean, or mellow, its nowhere around you so you have to find it,
girls like it ,and like to have it , guys fight and try to have all of it,
all people colors wonder and ponder about it,
is it slow and hopefully accessible,
are you happy are you sad, are you high?.
love you, hate you, sing about you, fell weak in front of you,
I hate the thought been associated with it, since ever I’ve been here,
I hate the way to roam invade my air in my room,
In their room in their air, I hate it and, he ate it
who planted it, who put it around, it makes them feel special, sacred, paranoid
it makes them think happy, it makes them think free, “free minded”
It makes slaves, if a bond exist, between plant and animal its always been for food, never for bullshit.
it is false happiness it is false vegetable ,hate it .

Ramadan gone Eid is here

well Eid is here and i happy about Eid is here it is wonderful a typical here as it was befroe , sometime ago ,

the bot on the second turn

Ramadan is was here , its amazing indeed how this nice month oasses by so fast ,
by this year alone it already my fifth Ramadan here , things did changes since the last time , for one major change is the presence of two important people , my mother and Yasuko , my mother was here and if I ever had to think about her spending time , time with us here I couldn’t believe it till I actualy get to see it happen , and it did happen , since her visit in the summer time she figured to keep here till Ramadan pass and even when x-mas land all the way till next year , this year .

I cant tell if he really liked here or not , especially when lots of times were spent fighting and arguing , these fights and arguments , seemed to me that they’ve saved for all this time, two years and some months , she felt that there was something wrong about us been here in a time like this , there is no point of money wasting when its gone in an education that wont do any good in a place with no direction or at least for now.

I cant see how, she could summon all these feelings and pass them into a Ramadan , it was a special Ramadan perhaps one of the best in this place , that never have seen lots of interesting things happing in it.He called on me , that night , it was a Friday I think or Thursday either seemed really asserted guy he talked as if he really knows the person talking to ,”natural” , in Arabic and what it seemed an attempt for a genuine Saudi accent those of rhiyda, replied back salam , who is this its haithm , hi haithm how can I help you sir , “nothing really…I think I know you” he said, “ really , do you mind reminding , of yourself please,“---
Now this is a situation Iv been away from some time, and for good reason too, this type of conversations, seems normal in bug cites , very common , and I think with cell phones every where now days you can call on anyone anytime you want , so this guy figured to give a friend he felt he knows , a call , I kept I the conversation short as possible , I was working , and I did feel like talking, having worked here for a year already I tend to understand them very well , hard minded lazy soft people , with good determination some times anyway. I told I’ll call you back please, he agreed at the moment , so there it was,

I called him on the phone , he turned it out in my place,he was convincedof meeting on two places ,with no luck to get me to remebre I kept squeezing no luck again, he felt that I was trying to make a situation into a case , and to tell the truth it was, but like many of our kind or our kid wan-to-be, he didn’t see it that way at all , ok so what ,
"I asked about a kid from saudi, and some Omani kids give your number, it is not big deal right?" , look man as much as much as I see this as a mistake of identity, I dont like your accesnt of fakeing who you really are.

normal subway bullshit

A funny or rather ironic incident happened today, it is almost Ramadan , and part of celebrating and practicing of Ramadan is for, a person to look ramadanish I guess a such name would apply, well I tired to grow a beard , and a beard on a middle eastern looking kind-of-guy, some times no beard is required just looking the way you are is enough,it is considered a no no here.
I was riding the subway on the second stop, two chubby girls , entered the sub one preferred to stay near the door with gazing eyes toward me ,and one had a seat on the opposite side of my seat, they started chatting,babbling about all kind of bullshit, and then they started to make fun of the idea, that if I maybe decided to do something wired, or maybe"suspicious", I knew it was me they might be talking about , for the fact they really dont care , girls from this side of twon really dont care if you knew or not,"we were here first, on a ship or not" I had to listen to their bullshit for the whole long minutes, one of them started to putting cross signs on her body , and soon pointing to her girl friend at me.
I thought to my self how ironic this situation must be, I work in a gas station, in the poor side of the city, last night a gentleman took another gentleman’s wallet and ran off with it, this type of thing happens down here many times, to the point that when a white customer enters the door always have to have the robber-customer on apoint to where he basically can see him or something,

It strike as interesting that no long ago people in here , were and still are treated with some fear from the general white people , and yet they feel that a non looking whites , or non looking black will be a harm to them , if a beard on someone looks like me is scary , what about a beard growing competition men or women? , how about people with gun, crack heads so on, I thinkI forgot they don’t look like me, and beside there is no robbing or shooting competition goes in the down town.

The Greek constrictor worker food curse

I felt pain the next day, as its called upper abdominal pain, one guy already went to the hospital one old man is still in ICU unit, I in the other hand did not go anywhere for the simple reason of health insurance.
The food was good , they kept encouraging me to eat more, I always like food when everyone else was eating, and avoid eating alone only if necessary,
the meat which I learned later on was beef stew uncooked well, and I figured that must’ve been the reason for those two men’s internal bleeding
The Greek constrictor worker food curse

in the company of the rabbit

Today was one of those funny days, I had to go with the constriction guy, to buy some supplies to fix the ceiling.

From what I understood I had to go with him and buy and get out, only thing I had to make sure he wont trick me for buying some thing they wont like.

I never been with someone who is former addict , through the looks of his eyes I can see lost lost person , the wife the kid look tired, I met them on my way to the supplies store, which he forgot the name for in a second, its amazing what we as humans do in the name of getting somewhere else, we ruin it all just to make a piece of our mind happy.

I am not sure if I have to go with him again.

Japan is for the Japanese

She is just Japanese and she is under that Japanese pressure no more.
Debito argues allot of good things and I think he reached the same conclusion at the end that they seem to want to even hear it,

he might not be able to solve their differences and show them how the real 'developed world' functions or about how they would want to look at the world at the end.

She mentioned on many occasion how ugly she looked and I kept insisting she was not perhaps that is where the difference lays, they cant seem to see themselves out of their self nor what Japan is or what is Japanese.

When I got used to it , I was tough, hard minded, never thought for once that anything could change my mind about anything , I and only I always right, anything else is just BS,
Then we met , she strikes me as simple very hard to understand , although I would say I have a faire knowledge of her background,

The way they get along in the world indeed different from the way I had knew, organized, practical, on time ,

We come from a culture who want everything we can not be part of . we never on time that’s true .

pleasure

She stood still as I looked at her , she had bent her back to the point I can see , what is been hidden all her life.
Cheers and slapping, with heavy smell of sweat and alcohol, I wondered if this truly what we crave as humans from our fellow humans in the form of pleasure

Somewhere at the beginning

To this date I don’t know why he is overweight man, I thought people like him whom go by the book always on on the watch for their behavior , they have to keep it in the level like its reported on the old days.

It was sometimes in 1998 or late 97 either year it was the same hot crowded streets someone getting married someone getting divorced or both, I was driving as usually picking dinner for my father, Tamis and fuul pronicet (foo) basically vava beans mashed in way just like mashed potatoes here, and tamis is our version of the afganihi bread made form wheat and ghee, I was listing to his kothba , it was at the begging of summer break he was shouting as usual about why familes should stay in theirs country and visit mashed and so on instead of going to the west for vacationing, I did not like it I was reading the news paper and I was reading something about kids who graduate from high school and try to find jobs which did not exist and marring which will never happen

And this guy shouting on the Minbar (mimbr) about something that only him get to day or someone from higher stats would think of doing.
That’s it I thought , in Arabic of course this is it people like shouldn’t be looked at as inspiration on how the deen should be looked at

Shitty May

I had a rush of blood running in my head, I had blood red and hot through my nostrils it flowed,
Dramatic, Love is, and is overstated,
Who dose it feel? in the civil world to fall in love ?
What does it mean?
I don’t think she do understand,
Can 2 fall in love, when 2 are not from the same place?
Can we really cross oceans; can we reach to each others?
Really possible.