good sleep street sleep

@ tha moives

Gone with the Wind is a movie based on the novel by Margaret Mitchell. Produced in 1939 it started Clark Gable as Rhett Butler and Vivien Leigh as Scarlett O'Hara. The movies follow the lives of its two heroes against the backdrop of the civil war era including what life was before and during the reconstruction period.

It is an excellent movie that had own many awards and was a hit in the box office. From historical perspective however the movie falls short of giving a full picture of the civil war era and the reconstruction period, particularly to the lives of the slaves. The movie however does show the horror of the civil war and the devastation of the south. It also mentions thought not as much as it had about the carpetbaggers the unchanging lives of the freed slaves. So in the main the movie is about the lives of the slave owners and how much they had suffered after they have enjoyed for so long.
With little mention of the slaves who are showed as typically submissive, slow and greedily vindictive when it came to wanting their rights. Failing to show a single good black person other then the nanny, who’s motives for staying were never fully explained.

Another movie that has dealt with the civil war era is Glory. It was 1989 production starting Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington and Morgan Freeman. Like Gone With the Wind, Glory was also a product of its time. In that it tried to be balanced in its presentation. The movie primarily evolved around the lives of the freed slaves who constituted the first all-black volunteer union company and their white commander. I thought the movie was truthful and honest in its presentation. Showing the good and the bad on both sides. Showing the southerners who fought not to maintain slavery but for an independent state in which they believed. At the same time it showed how the rage of freed slaves in other regiment was exploited to drive terror in the hearts of the south. In all it was better representative then many of its predecessors of the civil war era.

protect land said man then signed in the air.,

from my kind and from other kinds he said protect them .
where do you come from,
where in your life did you learn to blame?

claim after claim about the same game
you don’t exist in human form
you exist in beast form that’s all
a beast devours what beast devoured your soul
there no place on the planet to carry you no more
you at last became what you've dreamed about,
yes your that bad as you are ,
don’t realize, many years you’ve seen reflication
you become what you wanted to be,
in fact all came to be what they wanted to be
just you , walk talk look, like you
happiness is now foregone never will it come to be
this land no more as it was before

To be from this land
To be a part of what their not
Speak their tongs you do
Speak to their mind you wont, you don’t
Full of symbolisms they prefer
Full of bullshit they prefer,
True emptiness in what is ever left
In the body, in the should in the mind
Hunger and starvation for bling
Chasing and foaming for Cash
No where to go but to the past
Noting genuine here
Nothing lasts

You write or type about the subjects
Come from a place with whimsical life
Come from away family
Come from your mouth what you don’t believe
Come from your mind what you cant apprehend

Leave what you don’t, about please
Go back to where you come from with this.
Keep it to thee self please.
Don’t for, few claps; sell what’s left in soul
What you do impress west nor east
For these, impressions but few seconds
Go back to where you come.,
Please stay calm and choose what you like
Leave what you don’t know about,
A father beating a mother weeping,
A Bus into the oblivion it went.
Claim the text made the man.
Not true for the text is just
You and all please leave these text to be
For centuries proved to be
What you and the other cant foresee
Nor ever will understand

O friend of mine would be quite
O friend of mine away you go,
For us to be friends matters no more
No more then a poster of an AD on the wall
A Wall by the subway for a second or so
An Ad to remind us of what we had

First arabic writing since 6 years good luck

وجميع البلاد التي علي هذا الخط لا عرض لها البتة، والقطبان غير مرتبين فيها ، ويكونان هناك علي داءرة الافق من الخابنين . وكلما بعد موضع بلد عن هذا الخط إلى ناحية الشمال قدر درجة، ارتفع القطب الشمالي الذي هو الجدي على أهل ذلك البلد درجة، وانخفض القطب الجنوبي الذي هو سهيل درجة، وهكذا ما زاد.

I was watching a video Pagan poetry, Bjork, I cant put the thing on ‘O’, anyhow, the video depicted Bojork in the usually bjork act, and then inserted what is looks like needles into her body, in her back.

I used to rembre when I used to do something similar, back when I was young kid, maybe 12 or 13 years old I think even younger, I used put sewing needle into the thin skin that covers my hand, I cam here and I watched young and old, American whits, doing so except in all shape of sharp edge metals and in all different parts of their body, you would know when you see it, while on the beach all is too clear, you can actually see tinges shine on people’s bodies, in a country that idolizes symbolism, no these bodys don’t look heavenly bodies, they look more like abused bodies at the least.

Bjork might me right on a thing, Pagan see this piercing did originate from the ancient times, not clear on the Asians piercing but someone long time ago had to start this practice that indeed went far, you see regardless off religion , human body can and actually does

Circumcised since babyhood, I think for me this enough skin giving or skin anything; I think this real hard core maybe ancient practice according to some

Yes friend we go now
no friend we shall nor go or stay,
yes friend I want to be in the company of yours
no friend I no longer be wanted with you,
yes friend lets grab a drink,
no friend lets not be drinking,
Yes friend I want/need your help,
no thanks friend no help no need,
Yes friend I am not ok
no friend am rightfully ok,
yes friend leave me alone,
no friend don’t leave alone,
Yes to yes on anything friend,
no to yes on anything friend,
yes friend are enemy we be,
no close to an inch we shall be
yes I don’t want no more ,
No I don’t want to be with you no more,
Yes when they are here you should not be,
No when you are here they cant be here.

When I am stuck I want you all your help,
when you are stuck I don’t want to be part help,
I want you away, yet I want near,

2

To leave to depart
to leave without regret,
to be a part of different parts,
to just and readjust,
to look onto another side,
to disown what was acquired
to not say goodbye
to liquefy,
to cease to exist
to feel unfeeling

To not look once
to look once
to not be part of all them
to release
to not question no more
no one
to depart forever
to depart to never
to just go away,

talk allot

Where do we stand, I was wondering for a while, but I never thought to write something about it, that is to be a national or a religious or national- religious, in that order national and then religious.

we grew in society that its riches just became internationalized, before then no one, heck anyone non muslim at least knew about that place, our parents grew with these traditions that has been passed to them from their parents, and of course their parents knew of else in the world except to find ends meet.
Sometimes ends meet requires heading north, and leave what their home, for a new one up north.
Wherever they came from (grand parents) for us it was never clear, and questions always were met with no answers, who we are, what we are. This all comes in the midst of national reforms, in class a guy enters the class rooms and asks who is a saudi stand up, who is not just remain sit, I stood for both calls, I went to my father and asked which are we and he just laughed this is something unique about growing up saudi, its in way a big joke. Ambiguous rules that applies to neither party in a game, to the audience it punishment, I came here and I found no difference, I talk to white people here and see how they pretend what their four father had had created for them.

I was reading a comment by a I would assume a white male, about the recently free jill carol, and how he was making fun, of how she was wearing head scarf, and looking terrorist, and he goes on, and the bottom saying stuff like she might have loved the kidnaper and so on, and how she might hate white males who talk about equality for women, and women rights and all that, he is right on one part perhaps two, they just talk and talk allot.

becum

I was chatting with a friend, earlier today, I always had the impression that things might had changed but is seems hope is nowhere near what realty is.
Family values did not necessarily plummet, cant remember when it was on healthy bases, it seems that fucking is becoming what more able people used to do, only more now its spread, where are you heading? And for how long? Who would want to take the lead of the direction of the intercourse, where is the desired destinations campus pointing to.
When religious phonies will be satisfied, people do seem to understand its just that they wont comply with more stricter rules, its always been the same problem, they cant seem to look like the people you would want to be around when they preach, with dangling bellies, and half trimmed beard black and shiny, their smile indicated good health and elusive punishment,
They both groups understand that both like the same thing, both know what the other likes and do, only difference is one is armed and one is not,
In here they choose to ignore, ignore that fact of their impotence, here the just bullshit, all the time, they know their weak they know they as human are gone far, here it is a big Inc
, and people meet fuck eat together on different lunch breaks , they claim freedom, but salves they are eversince that strayed foot landed, its caught just like those , on streets over nights and day. 3abeed not for many for one, one that has a belly, eats from mouth, and shits and they eat where he shits.

American Identity last

. However such practices of cruel vengeance was not enough. By the war’s end, the Algonquian population in New England had been drastically and permanently reduce (Lepore 43). Of those who escaped such fate a worse one, it might be argued, awaited them. After certain battles “Captives,” Lepore writes “were almost surely sold into foreign slavery or, if children, placed into service with an English family” (135). Contrasting radically with the terms of captivity the Indian held to, for “English people owned themselves; Indians did not.” Says Lepore (135). Yet another fate waited those who survived captivity or death.
The Indians were driven to, what I perceive as the forefather to concentration camps, so called Deer Island where Lepore writes “the hundreds of Indians on the small island had few resources with which to feed and shelter themselves for the winter, and the provisions they received were inadequate” (139). And further write, “Those Indians who tried to escape from Deer Island could be killed, while others were illegally taken from the island and sold as slaves” (139).
I think more then anything fear had aided greatly in shaping the American character. In all its endeavors I think the United State was compelled by fear and carried out by extreme pragmatism. As their settlers forefathers American of the twentieth century illustrate this point in almost all their dealings with any threat, real or imagined, to their authority. The tormenting hearings of senator McCarthy, the mob lynching of African-Americans and abhorrent treatments they suffered during the civil rights era; and the most extreme of all reaction the dropping of the nuclear bomb on Japan. “Terminate with extreme prejudice.”
I have heard the sentence uttered time and again on TV and in print by presidents and military leaders, of past and present and I think it sums up how American react and why they are driven to have the best of things then the other party. Whoever that other party is. Like the colonist who strove to protect themselves by any means so are contemporary Americans acting in the same deplorable way they say they are fighting. So I guess in the end it is true. The weapons change but the words and the sentiments behind them stays the same.

American Identity part 4

The settlers saw the Indian and feared their fate. They wondered in earnest if they would degenerate to the ostensible savagery of the Indians. From the time of their first arrival, in the 1620 and 1630, the settlers had worried about losing their Englishness (Lepore 5). The colonists had asked themselves a question concerning the origin of the natives. If they were in fact natives then their savagery is explained. “But if the Indians were migrants from Europe or Asia, then they had changed since coming to America and had been contaminated by its savage environment. If this were the case, as many believed, then the English could expect to degenerate, too.” Wrote Lepore (6). The settlers also feared losing their lands and their houses. In fact as Lepore further writes “For most colonists the loss of habitations became the central crisis of the war” (77)
This seemingly prominent culture of fear the United state had come of age into explains the tendencies toward the extreme and viciousness of reaction when feeling threatened or when responding to an attack. In that they passed what Lepore call “Colonists vigilante justice” (138). As one of its practices any Christian Indian wishing to return to the English had to supply severed body parts of slain enemy Indians. As was done by James Painter, a Nipmuck Christian Indian, who when amnesty was presented, surrendered himself to the English settlers “ Bringing with him, as required by special instruction, the heads of two enemy Indians-testaments of his fidelity.” Lepore wrote

American Identity part 3

King Philip’s war took place during the year 1675 and lasted tell about the middle of 1676. At its end, as Lepore writes, “ Houses have been burned, children murdered, men beheaded. Hatred has accumulated.” (3).
It was a savage conflict where both sides were given to bloodlust. Both sides pursued the war with viciousness, and almost without mercy (Lepore 7). But here I am not concern about the behavior of the native, as much as it might be abhorrent to me, but I am with the English settler’s. For they have professed themselves better then the native in all way in particularly moral values. It was these same moral values that had justified to the English settlers their barbarous actions during the conflict. Moreover it was not just arrogance that had compelled them, fear had also played a part. What the settlers feared the most was their environment.
Especially when it seemed to have had conspired against them. “When the corn didn’t grow, when the weather turned wild, when the wolves howled, when the Indians laughed at God, these are the times when the colonists might have wondered, What are we doing here? Discouraged and afraid, thousands of colonists simply left- as many as one in six sailed home to England in the 1630 and 1640, eager to return to a world they knew and understood (Lepore 5). However those who stayed soon got over their many concern, as Lepore writes. “…those who stayed eventually learned to grow corn, predict the weather, shoot wolves, and ignore Indian blasphemies” (5). Though they were able to ignore “Indian blasphemies” they were not able to ignore the Indians living at their doorstep.

American Identity part 2

War, ethnic background, location and time all without a doubt have had a role in the formation of the American identity. However it was in my opinion a set of shared values that has most influenced the formation of the American identity. On studying the history of the united state one get a sense of deep-rooted sense of arrogance that was common among all the colonists.
A strong held belief that they were better then their follows; in all aspect of life, religion, education, economics and government. All colonists believed themselves better then the native with whom they shared the land. They looked down upon the native as savages and themselves as their saviors. The Spanish were cruel, the French sly and the English civil, in their efforts. No one would contest the cruelty of the Spanish or the underhanded dealings of the French (except maybe the people of the two nations) but many would the so-called English civility.
It is in examining the English settlers dealings with the native in particular their behavior in the events of King Philip’s war that one see how arrogance played a role in defining the American identity. There is however another factor, which I also believe, helped in defining the American identity, fear. From its beginning America was shaped by fear real and imagined. Combined with arrogance it was a strong force. King Philip’s war illustrates this perfectly.

party seris II

he told him "Your a Saudi you people dont drink? and I can see that you are doing it  excessively, how is that when we hear about islam and all that?"

 he replayed "I think I can give you some points on probably why, how, what, where, it might the drinking start. I can’t tell these as a facts, nor as a true explanation to Saudi drinking in general, at the end it always depends on the individual’s preference some actually don’t do alcohol but prefer pot for example which is sill considered haram (our word for forbidden"
 he told him these are not genetics like you guys tend to blame things, how come its always about race in here anyway ? nor religious reasons would is a factor, "I’ve seen both people with same gene codes as I am, and I’ve seen and met and befriended both, so the answer is no."

you have to understand that we are or we were a very private secluded people,  yet in the same time we want to get exposed to everything and try everything counterdetcing ? it is and maybe it should.

In the present of, or around our own kind, and by kind the I mean same city,tribe, or same school back home school, could be State school too, mainly males.
the fact is this, we dont because we want to be able to do it when actually can not!
this is normal for most of those who adhere to islam.
I can imagaine them going throguh the same thought process.

there was a joke circling around most desi people,
the joke goes like this, a drunk man goes into a resturant, whith two woman by his side, he sits down and order food, the food comes in and he asks the waiter is it Halal?

party series

Students do drink do party, do pretty much what any international student would do when invited to a 'party'. most of saudi student atleast those I met,  would fall into two or more categories.
this is about the two main ones, normally males, fall between the ages of 18-39,
in this case students from the ages of 18 to say 23 been the younger and anything above is the older.
Then there is the group whom are on Gov backed scholarships. and then there are those who their parents pay for their expense. the idea of a saudi student on his own expenses does not exist, not in my knowledge anyway. there is a small group of students who get to pay their own expenses for school and pretty much everything else. Through their own savings but they are indeed few, and normally they fall in the older category in their thirties or late twenties.

Female student also do party as well, but the nature of these female student is almost always elusive, meaning their family background, and so forth are not always clear.

INTERANTIONL/ MIDWEST STUDENT

Past day I went to a friends of mine’s international gathering party “thing”, as usual it had utmost similarity to all parties of that sort, drinks flowing (normally Beer), girls hanging around mostly sober, boys trying to hook-up with sober girls, normally the boys are drinking and the ones mostly dancing.

I figured this party for internationals in this state has never changed since time I’ve been to one the first time a landed here, that it”.
these parties almost always involve one or more of the, international student parties normally fall into either a “picnic” on the abundant grass fields of the country side, following with an activity normally volley ball, football, etc, and as usual drinks are always soft, smoking is no no. This particular night party at some guy’s home, in a forsaken neighborhood was something normal although, depending on who is making the efforts to do bring everyone, so if the party group responsible of bring everyone tonight are Latinos then the music is either gypsy kings etc I think and fast beat music will do, Samba tunes for the Brazilians, and tequila, for drinks, and Nacho for food…not always, some times there is no food at all. The company is as always guys who ask “where you from”, although normally they just approach you in Spanish. And then you would have to say something that implies that “I don’t speak Spanish”; sometimes this is the end of this chat, the person just walk away shouting something in their own language.

However new this time is this, students form India in particular, sometimes from Africa as well, are partying hard in Indian standard, that’s not to say they don’t, the do but if they did maybe few know about them, and these are their own people, not “outsiders”. here is the catch, I’ve hang around student from India, Africa, Saudi, Kuwait, Japan, China, Latin Americas (no one from Peru though), and I noticed mostly , very sober students, focused, good sense of humor sometimes totally just boring, post-incident, attitudes ; also all stereotypical aspects of schools and after schools plans and accents still float. But there is something new the excessive drinking in usually non-drinking students.

American Identity

It is a difficult task I believe to try and pinpoint the most predominate factors in shaping and molding the American identity. For from its beginning and throughout every period of its conception the united state had been a mural of different cultures, values and people. Unlike the Romans or the Greek before them who were made of cohesively connected people, in that they were all Greek or all Romans. In the united state no such factor existed.
Colonies established by the Spanish were loyal to Spain and held to Spanish values. Similarly those colonies established by Britain or Holland swore their allegiance to their respective countries. It was perhaps not until the revolution that such boundaries were demolished allowing the free exchange of ideas and values. Allowing a citizen to move form one city to another without having to worry about changing sides since now everyone was on the same side. Such exchange of location brought with it exchanges in values and culture. Still however the people remained different.
Of different ethnic background and of possessing different sets of beliefs, which is where the difficulty lies. Were those of British decent more influential in shaping the identity of the U.S or was it a different ethnic group? Was it perhaps the efforts of individuals that had contributed the most as might be suggested by the founding fathers? However even an individual had to have been influenced by the ethnic group that had sprang him.
If so was it the people then who were most influential in shaping of the American identity. To assume so does not take into account the nature of the land, a great expanse of it uncharted and occupied by indomitable or not yet pacified natives. Or take account of the time, which was one of great turmoil. War was common, with the natives or among the colonizing countries of the time. So was it war and conflict that had most influenced the formation of the American identity? But even war had to have been influenced.

To school and job or to school and sport,

I was chatting with a friend of mine, she mentioned something about her self and how she used to be in her swimming team back when she was at school, I would assume it was middle school or probably high school, either case, she said something about dropping from the swimming altogether because her parents feared that she might be too into the sport, that it will consume all of her time, therefore she wont be able to study and so on.

I told her well I understand that part, I come from pretty much the kind of social environment, in which the two options has to be either to become a doctor or and an engineer, nothing less to be expected,
I wondered about back when I was home, how the finals really were in everyone’s mind, in the whole family and the outside family and friends of both families, meaning even the people who know your parents, and knew you through your parents, and knew you because of your last name coincides with your family, rest assures, local Saudi papers will carry the final results, almost every high school in the region is here, and your name had to be there, or pray it’s on.

To become a doctor, is certainly cool thing, maybe, but here with all their lawsuits of medical malpractice, perhaps not, what I wondered about was why is it that parents who normally not doctors as well, felt that their children had to carry on, their legacy with a medical degree, a degree in medical is not hard, its long and boring, and it been a science major, science in your mind had to be strong, I knew doctors relatives of mine, in knew doctors good and bad ones, almost all of them, including the ones on TV documentaries seemed that they are init for the money

Today was my first time checking this new feature out for computers; the internet there were the usual faces around a computer screen, normally y guys young guys, clicking and typing, the feeling is filmier what’s not however is what is happing on the screen, online gaming, chatting world wide, hence I thought world wide web, perhaps was driven from there,

What exactly going on here?

I got a hint from a friend of mine, "A big freaking Party is taking place,tonight" at undisclosed location in southern part of town; again I met the whole crap by a crappy answer , that he expected , and replied girls, "lebanny ones", “what..? no way” I said, you better believe me, cuz by the time I go tonight am doing all of them, “the guys you mean”, "hell no", well we will see, is that mean you in? , "yeah why not".I never actually went to these kind of parties, campus one in private condos and such,“so yeah why not”. "Ok pick you up at 11, ok?". OK

we drove far, more then usual, honestly, I never thought anything other then what I knew of this area (mainly promiscuous commerce business), anything you want to buy you actually might find over here, so I figured where would a "nice" party be in this place we were going to, well my thoughts were interrupted, street check-points was in action right in front of the leading road where we were heading, the skinny Cop/traffic officer, Green skinny, and ill temperd, scanned the car very fast with his lazy eye,and for the record it was a nice car, very nice, nice in a way that you wouldnt think whos riding would be anything less. And you’d think this might get us a quick pass, No.

Our Freind Testosterone Radishkun...hello

Went to Organic food market one time, for me this seems the best saleable idea, and personally believe that the marketing behind such thing is am amazing thing, well the organic subject is controversial one by it self, I mean what is organic and what is not, in fact what does mean to have an organic food to begin with ?.
human kind eats almost everything single thing on the planet, and yes this include fire, Earth, Air, and Water, now however people are looking within what they had and have, and think by sorting it, food will look better or sound better, fair I think but not original

Our friend Radish-Kun, he is also annoyed about, hormones injected into animals and vegetables, he is personally upset or the fact he was injected with the wrong hormone.

EGYPTO

Last night I did a funny thing, it is been a real while eversince I chatted or used the messenger services by either yahoo, or MSN, needless to say, am just not into these things anymore. But here’s what I did I added something like 200 names into my list, I modified the last in which all of them would be added in the same time you add something something number of contacts, a message will be sent to notify them or something,.and the fun began , these young Egyptian kids started asking in broken English who are you, and kept answering with stupid rhetoric all the time just to keep them guessing , but I did noticed a coming back trend, they do curse allot, I thought in this day and age the language would’ve been turned down, “civilized”…no

It seems that communication technology, in chatting and video whatever. Did in fact advance fast and, still improving. But what about he persons behind the chatting screens, on the keyboards, what type of people are we really type communicating with?.when in Miami one time, seeing all types of personalities, in the Epcot Center, sometime in 96, I think around October or so, in the center they set computer booths, with online chatting ,and gaming type of stuff, you just star playing or type and the computer start responding and so forth. the person on the other side of the seemed to be cursing way many times, I didn’t know which to do first “chat” first or answer claims on my Ass?.

Its ten years after, and the insulting still growing, I mean is that really why we chat for?, just to see how much people we can get to degrade, voice chatting on yahoo is even worse webcam super worse, who are these people?. I still love them in Egypt they posses, extra in everything we had as civilized people, but no more.

Fairuz

Have you listened to any music singed in Arabic? or a melody, an Arabic melody ?. well here is the thing with Arabic music, these is lots of Arabic singers , believe it, maybe because a large population speaks the langue, from all the sniggers out there including the ones I personally despise the most , those who like to use synthesizer ..allot of synthesizer to the pint I just started laughing hysterically because the sound become a form of abnormal voices, think goblins, or male cats screaming out side a window,

Well here is the good thing, Arabic music don’t have to have synthesizer, and the answer is Fairuz sometimes pronounced or written differently but if you key it somewhere you might get the right name, listen to Fairuz, probably the best out of all Arabic sings Lebanese singers and performers, I came to love her music the most here, she singes about life in Libnan which I cant relate too, she sings about life afar from home, she singes about love, cool thing songs are sang in Classic Arabic , with a very good

Pronunciation, remember Arabic is all about how to manipulate voice chords to achieve optimum sense. Ok so why um Kalthum, well here is the thing Um Kalthum probably has the best lyrists around her at the time, the best composers if the history of the Arabic music, but perhaps the worst record producers of all time. Um Kalthum’s Arabic, Classical Arabic that is good, but not best, here my take on this and why “good
Pronunciation,” matters, you see when you listen to a song, say in English for example,

And keep listing , and then a letter is gone out of shape it helps maybe the purpose of the song, you hear that all the time in Rock music, they exaggerate pretty much everything, but people like it, but not in Classical music everything has to go right, that’s why its called ‘classic’. In Um Kalthum its all goes fine until a heavy letter is written and she say it and then the feeling for the song just goes away , well not in Fairuzs case.

The settler mentality

I believe they had it from the beginning, the looks, the talks, the thinking, the sing, its not amazing that mentality still exist. Floats around from the north-east to east-west to the south and stays south, in this matter. Still floats still there, still theirs, denying it all the time they do, “it’s the differences”, “it’s the Economical pressure”, “we have to put ut ourselves in their shoes”, no we don’t have to put anything anywhere, we just have to admit that you, from the beginning just did not like the fact of anything that has to do with anyone whom just happens to be nothing you are.

When the slave ship landed and the slaves were shipped from the ship, to the caret, chained still, feet, arms, hands, head, whatever chainable; supposedly the hitting and hating and African salve meant, that. here goes, that because the African Salve came into the land looking and smelling they he/she; normally he, was considered a beast, so what ?, beast smell and look African?, or beast comes on a ship and then on caret and then on to a Tobacco field?, I mean it makes no sense, at all.

In the class white student, there one student in particular, he acts as he knows at all, acting the usual, head shaking from left to right every time the word on the settlers, finding the hatred toward African slaves in the bible, and jumps out again, it because of Economic, the king the queen the field, the this, the that, no its not.

If that was to be true, if the smell and the looks of an African salve, coming here frightened them to the point, so they beastify him. Then why is it that when they them selves came out of a ship beastifyed the natives as well??
its not the pigment, maybe it was at one point or two, but not all the time, its always been in the head, in the mentality, the settlers mentality

WWWH

I can’t seem to “get it” by now. Family friends around the world friends, one day to days friends long time short time friends and then the people.Asking on my well being, and the question of when you will be here ?, where we are at where you should be, with us among us.I can answer these claims, but I can not fulfill with all requests, I think I knew better.

Ever since that moment, and the fear mixed with their own sense of fulfillment, when they as I , used be where they were, I felt the same way too, I needed someone far away from all these surroundings to empty, my emptiness on them, him, no always her.We used and seemingly still are looking, we do have all the freedom the freedom of time that is, we do have the freedom the freedom of mind…mind space, living the way we did, we do.I can’t not yet, not now anyway just come back. Although it is bad, here and, there where you at, I cant not now, I have to prove it to my self first then the rest of the friends and “the people”.

stranger still among the rest

Again I am faced with these oddly situations, in which people around have to show some of their great skills of been afraid looking toward your image.I wondered again eversince something like that happens whether they are just following the instructions or just been themselves. The reason I had to mention this for the reason that sometimes I grew tired of all this kind of behavior, when in fact the majority of the people who are like me have already been departed from here. I wonder how long it will take for me to endure such things for such long period.

writing day

I am trying to write a written letter for my father, I wonder who else like have to do the same thing. By saying like I mean, an international student away from home, away in long time period, under some special circumstances. I wonder if other international student as in my case, have to explain more and promise less, I wonder if the rest of them fall under the same pressure, to produce more then they can actually handle, I wonder if
They lie, try to deceive, thing is not necessary everyone in the world get to come here, perhaps in our case, and our particular income status, we can afford to come here, but we cant afford to stay, and be the “same like us”, when we arrive, we try to either join the minority foreign, get along with our own student friend , some time we don’t get along at all, but pretend to get along, because we have no one else to hang around with,
I wonder if other saudi student do write letters, to their families, what do they say, what will the say, about, there is and still is all kind of stuff to talk about, where to start, where to end it. ? This country is not, as it was when parents were here, in mid 70’s early 80’s although it might look like it, things not necessary changed, and if it did, definitely for the worse. I actually do wonder is they do write letters to their families in the first place.